"Never embarrass your cattle dog"

PAGE 5

. . . A  S   T H E   D U C K   W A D D L E S  . . .

PAGE 1:
North Carolina
Pennsylvania
Arizona
California
Montana
Michigan

PAGE 2:
Illinois
Ohio
Indiana

PAGE 3:
Ohio Redux
Texas
British Columbia
Washington

Page 4:
Utah
Mississippi

 

Exclusive Photos: Duck on the Lam from Katrina

Page 5:
Back home to NC
Eastern NC
Pennsylvania redux
Nevada
Virginia
New York


Note to The Shriek readers: The duck has a mind of its own and we have only nominal control over its next move. However, if your ACD is eager to take part in the Société initiation, e-mail wayoutacd <at> aol.com. If you have completed photos, e-mail them to ssp <at> email.unc.edu.

The Shriek staff refuses liability for any psychological trauma encountered by Australian Cattle Dogs in the enactment of this secret ritual.

(To complete the e-mail addresses, take out the spaces and replace the <at> with @)

 

Pulp Fiction moment: MARS and SMOKEY investigate the Duck and her luggage upon her return to her roots in North Carolina -- and her incredible olfactory allure -- and at the same time demystify Thomas Wolfe's claim that you can't go home again.


 

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SMOKEY Phillips vowed when the Duck came to live with him in the spring that he would never wear the Duck. That was for sissies like MARS. However, eaten up with jealousy at all the other dogs who have proudly worn the Duck and become one with the Duck and seemingly had their way with the Duck, he demanded that she be recalled to Apex immediately. > Above, having rested from her ordeal with the Hutchins-Hoffman clan and Hurricane Katrina, the Duck and Smokey prepare for a tour of historic Apex. Apex is called the Peak of Good Living because it was the highest point on the railroad line between Atlanta and Washington. > Here Smoke and the Duck greet the freight train as it moves through a crossing downtown. The Duck collapsed from fright when the train's horn sounded. Smokey was not deterred. > Smokey and the Duck relax on an old caboose. > Apex used to be a small, sleepy, farming community, but no more. Here, the pair take in the view from the top of a tantalizing mountain of construction dirt and then check to see if there's a key in the ignition of the earth-moving equipment.

 

 

 

When the Duck visited Jim Hutchins and ANNIE in Utah, they presented her with a Mormon temple passport as a goodbye gift. Here SMOKEY and the Duck attempt to enter the Raleigh, N.C., Mormon temple, which curiously was built in Apex. As the tradition seems to be in these parts, the temple is the only one between, you guessed it, Atlanta and Washington. > With the Angel Moroni mocking her in the background, the Duck and her passport have been unceremoniously turned away; she hangs her head in shame and dismay. > Too soon it was time to say adios to her old friends in Apex and head for the coast, hoping to scare away Hurricane Ophelia.
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(Click on each photo to enlarge)

>The Duck arrived at the "Crystal Coast" of North Carolina along with the first rain bands of Hurricane Ophelia. >She spent a restless night with OUTBACK LePere and then had to pitch right in with chainsaw duty, cutting up a 100-year-old oak that fell near the house. >Next the duo cheered up the Navy and Marine troops stationed at nearby Cherry Pointe Naval Air Station, trying on the Marine boots for size. >Then OUTBACK introduced the Duck to her close personal friend NASCAR driver Bill Elliot. Bill was thrilled to get an autograph from the Duck. >A much-deserved afternoon on the beach, admiring the standing water between the dunes from Ophelia. >The Duck supervises the framing of Heirs of Ayers, the original painting that served as the inspiration for t-shirts and totes.

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The Duck escaped the southern hurricanes by beating feet to Pennsylvania to be greeted warmly by the enlistees at the WayOut compound.

Posey and The Duck - one heart, one mind, one body, two heads.

The Duck has returned to Seven Valleys, PA. His Royal Highness Prince Slate, recently released from prison on trumped up charges of selling his children for money to pay Supreme Dictator Comrade Kit's way to Cowcamp, posed for photographers with his former disguise, Madame le Canard and Royal Wetnurse Hello Kitty. Mme le Canard was happy also to be reunited with her lost offspring - the singing quacking pink duckling who was sent in a care package from Illinois to the WayOut Refuge For Homeless Ducklings.

Dictator-in-training Posey coyly allows herself to get confidential with the duck who whispers the top secret seditious information that she has collected on her travels into the small Revolutionary's ear.

The weight of the world ... or the duck.. lies heavy on the shoulders of sweet Gussie.

Later on, Gussie and the duck get more friendly as they compare beaks.

And finally, a travel poster has been created featuring the beautiful blue skies of the Keystone State. Curiously, Pennsylvania's Ministry of Tourism passed on the opportunity.

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(Click on photos to enlarge) When the Mother Canard learned that one of her own, DUCKY Thomason-Hanneman, was ailing in Reno, she put off any plans to be torn to shreds at the annual gathering of cattle dogs in Tennessee and happily hightailed it to Nevada where she provided inspiration to DUCKY and visited with his pack: Brooke, Bambi, Bentley and Baby. Above, DUCKY is fitted with the suit and acclimated to the Duck before plotting what will be known as the Second Great Cattle Dog Train Robbery on the spot of the first in 1870.

The first train robbery in the west, the Great Verdi Train Robbery took place on Nov. 4 1870. Five city officials, led by the local Sunday School Superintendent, boarded the Central Pacific's Overland Express. At gunpoint, the express agent was forced to open the strongbox when they stopped the train in Verdi, the town just west of Reno. The gang rode off with $41,600 in gold coins. After a two state chase, all of the gang members were caught, convicted, and hung. Only 90% of the gold was ever recovered.

DUCKY and Le Canard have dibs on taking the role of the Sunday School Superintendent in their recreation of the event, with one major exception: This time, the robbers get to keep the loot.

FOOTNOTE: It is with much sadness that we must announce that Ducky lost his fight with his multiple illnesses and trotted off to the Bridge in October. There are reports, however, that he arrived with a napsack full of gold coins and has plans to trade them in for PetSmart gift cards for all the other cattle dogs.

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(Click on photos to enlarge) Le Canard arrived in Falls Church, Va., and was immensely relieved to be modeled by cattle dogs that just fit so that her very tired seams could get a rest. >BLITZ Overholser shows off his lithe profile while the Duck nods her approval. >BLITZ shows the Duck what is euphemistically called a Frisbee, but the Duck is wondering if she might end up as a so-called Frisbee as well. >GRACE plays peep-eye with the Duck, not sure if she will be blowing her cattle dog cover should she be seen in public with the Duck. >Fears cast aside, GRACE poses with the Duck but warily keeps all four feet firmly planted in case the Duck makes an untoward move. >While in Northern Virginia, the Duck decided to enter a Jolly Ball Rally and quickly beat out the other competition for best herding technique by a Duck.


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While in NY, M. Canard became the first Duck to be hired by the FDNY.  She was stationed in Engine 64 Ladder 47 in the South Bronx.  Here she is with the truck, wearing her gear.  They tried not to let her get too close to the flames; whenever she did, she smelled like Peking Duck.  Not to worry, FDNY Firefighters are notoriously good chefs, and somebody was always available to baste her.

 

CHET Jurain (above) and GRACIE Jurain (right):
"I'm so excited to be wearing the Duck that I could pee ... oops, already did!"

 

 

 

NEO Buetow Branson (left) came to NY to become a rich and famous movie star. (Above) SCOUT Jurain and Duck attempt to cough up a hairball.

 

SIMON Jurain (top) stares in disbelief at the scene unfolding before his eyes (right) in which a Mutant New York Cattleduck appears, with a blue ACD head, a duck head and two ACD bodies, red and blue.  The perfect animal, it can herd itself and comes in both colors.