SWADDLING CLOTHES For lo it came to pass that the Canard has given birth to the Chosen One, destined to live at the Amiable Ark Farm in rural Ohio and eventually rule all that he sees. And his name shall be Duck, in memory of his mother whose time on this Earth is tragically shortened by each passing encounter with cattle dogs and each frightening transit at the hands of the USPS. Time will tell if this is Good.
Note to The Shriek readers: The duck has a mind of its own and we have only nominal
control over its next move. However, if your ACD is eager to take part in the Société initiation,
e-mail wayoutacd <at> aol.com. If you have completed photos, e-mail them to ssp <at> email.unc.edu.
The Shriek staff refuses liability for any psychological trauma encountered by Australian Cattle Dogs
in the enactment of this secret ritual.
(To complete the e-mail addresses, take out the spaces and replace the <at> with @)
STRIPE Warthling , keeper of the peace and master of his Amiable Ark domain, suspiciously inspects the Canard upon its mysterious arrival at the farm. "It has the look of clothing," Mr. Stripe shrieked, knowing that an unbroken decree of the AAF is that no creature of more than two legs shall be clothed.
The heir apparent and young protege DUCK Warthling gets a first lession in hunting, compliments of STRIPE Warthling. "First you sniff, then you lick, then you mouth, and THEN you eat," said the venerable master Stripe.
Marshall JALAPENO Krejci deputizes the Duck, Texas style, and invites le canard to a barbecue.
Deputy Duck turns away in horror when presented with the evening's main course. Jally smiles a small, knowing smile.
WYATT Dorman carries the Duck regally, and he will be recorded in history books with the title of first Canucky Ducky.
HONDA Deilke, undefeated in the ancestral class at the national specialty, here appears defeated by the Powers of the Duck.
ECHO Crocker has the distinction of being the first dual champion to be graced by the Duck. Note that attempting to stack while being strangled by the Duck does not necessarily earn one extra points.
The Duck earns her HIC on cows, with COWBOY Crocker
graciously acting as handler and offering herding tips.
STEALTH DUCK: "If I hold my head this way and stay v e r y
still, no one
will be able to see me." -- GAIA Crocker
JEEP Crocker performs unlicensed neurosurgery on the duck
with the hopes of stimulating the growth of some wings and feet.
EDITOR'S NOTE: This July 31, 2005 update to the Société's membership brings with it the advent of thumbnail photos. Caught in a vortex of cattle dog vibes in Northwestern Washington, the Duck has decided that the images are simply too powerful to be portrayed on first glance at anything larger than 200 pixels. For those with stronger constitutions, prurient curiosity and fast connections, click and you will be taken to a much larger image than you are probably prepared to view.
With visions of the Travelling Wilburys' Tweeter & the Monkey Man inexorably stuck in our brain, here's the loot that le Canard has been accumulating in her travels. And for the record, the Duck's gender IS female. Click here for proof.
The Treasure of the Duck
AND ANOTHER THING:
SEVEN VALLEYS, PA Comrade Kit wishes to announce that the WayOut commune is not a home for lost or orphaned ducks and those in Duck Rescue should make a note of that and not send anymore homeless baby ducks here. This baby duck, reputed to be the illegitimate offspring of M'sieur ou Madame LeDuck currently on a tour of the US and a macaw, showed up one sunny afternoon with a note pinned to his beak stating that he was in search of his mama.
Comrade Kit has been doing everything in her power to keep the baby duck safe but Prince Slate (most recent address: the Seven Valleys Jail -- Click here for link to unfortunate incident) has been overcome with an obsession for it. Comrade Kit apologizes in advance to the Midwest Duck Sanctuary of Champaign, Illinois, for the likely fate of poor baby duck, but, really, she can only do so much and she never signed up for mothering ducks!
HRH SLATE claims the prey
Update: Alas, poor baby duck. HRH Prince Slate is very pleased with his skill as a hunter.
It does indeed take a great deal of skill to elude Comrade Kit!
Queen BREEZY Deilke dons the Duck
in her favorite flower garden.
LIZZIE Shifflet, who is living and training in Canada, shares a quiet cuddle with the Duck.
TAG Deilke finds that he has lost his duck-herding instinct while under the powers of the Duck. (no larger image of this one)
TAG and Duck recover from encounter with ducks through Zen meditation.
TAG is curiously brother and cousin to WayOut's KIT.
PAINT Gahm, second dual champion to be photographed with the Duck, is the Exalted Father to COMRADE KIT of Elder.
NELLIE Kapelos, visiting from California, plans on a quick exodus to the safety of another state.
The Shriek staff received this letter to the editor and makes the appropriate retraction: Dear Daily Shriek Staff,
In the latest update to the Shriek, Nellie Kapelos is listed as hailing
from California. I would like to point out that she resides in
Washington and is absolutely not one of those Californicators. Thank you in advance for your timely correction. Sara-Jo Gahm
Le Canard, mistress of the weave poles, is lauded by TOBY and ROCKET Beckley.
SPUD Jaquish (right) shares a tender moment with puppy CHRISSIE Hamilton. In a bizarre development, even for WayOut fans, it seems that the Hamilton dogs eschewed the gracious opportunity to dress with the Duck. A rumor persisted that the Hamiltons are "long-time beavers." This will require further investigation on the part of The Shriek staff. It's not nice to shun the Duck.
CANARD GLAMOUR SHOT: KIT's sister DOT Jaquish -- and Duck -- put on movie star come-hither looks for the camera.
BUCK Leach gives a watchful stare at any and all would be intruders as he does a shift protecting the Duck.
ROO Rollins pretends that the Duck is really his coonskin cap. A Davy Crockett fantasy is one way to deal with wearing a fluffy, yellow, tight costume.
The Duck suit is here! The Duck suit is here!