OF THE WAYOUT CASTLE CREW
WayOut crew's ongoing adventures are chronicled on ACD-L (see
cattledog.com for information
on joining the listserve) and in the ACDCA
Prince Steps Out
Royal Highness Prince Slate kindly allowed his personal
attendant to accompany him on a brief parade around the
neighborhood today. He received his normal amount of adulation
from the commoners with a carelessly arrogant grace, as
usual. His personal
attendant did cause him a small amount of frustration
by her refusal to allow him to chase a motorcycle or eat
goose poo but it was nothing a royal personage could not
overlook, if pressed, and his highness graciously passed
it off with merely a few bucks and a kick.
it was abundantly made up to him when he came upon and
was able to kill a ferocious flying bag several times
in succession even though said slaughter involved dashing
UP an enormous hill at an indecorous pace! The aforementioned
personal attendant, while panting for breath, was still
able to congratulate the prince on his fine prize. Thereupon,
he forgave her her shortcomings in the goose poo eating
episode and continued on his royal excursion in a jolly
in the Castle
The Evil Prime Minister Shan was a noble and distinguished
black and white dog (aka border collie) who was
bane of the young prince's life. He greatly enjoyed
suppressing the exuberant royal lad at every opportunity
and would make an opportunity if one did not immediately
appear. He was never very interested in herding
but he was a great friend. He died at age 12.5
in 2002 of prostate cancer. He is very much missed...
but not by Prince Slate.
denizens of the royal palace thought this would be a day
as any other day. The noble Prince
Slate made lively about the halls - helping his attendant
with chores, flirting with the Lady
Tassel and dodging about and generally interfering with
the evil Prime Minister Shan as that worthy went about
his very serious duties. Shortly after his last official
his attendant was horrified to discover the royal footprint
clearly imprinted in dirt spilled all over the dining
area. A castlewide search for the wellborn culprit was
discoveries only increased the horror of the castle occupants.
Muddy pawprints led to the scene of another shocking crime.
Shaken victims accused the prince of chasing the distinguished
ambassadors from the neighboring
kingdom, Catlandia. Between hisses and anguished yowls,
the ambassadors described how the royal youth had latched
onto their tails which still twitched in indignation.
They shrieked again in memory of the outrage upon their
search continued with greater urgency! The prince must
be found and the reason behind these crimes discovered!
Surely this was just a temporary influx of high spirits
and not a sign of any criminal change in the beloved future
monarch. Yips and wails were heard from the Lady Tassel
as she joined the anxious searchers.
and Feral, the conniving Catlandish Ambassadors,
appear to be quiet and unassuming at first glance
but their paws are always stirring up trouble.
They disdain to hide their contempt for Prince
and his court and constantly insist on their diplomatic
privilege of taking the most comfortable sleeping
searchers were startled by a sound like a roll of thunder
coming from the gallery above. A hurried dash up the stairs
found the royal lad rushing about like a madman through
all the personal chambers. The evil prime minister sneered
at the juvenile antics of his sworn enemy while Lady Tassel
ran back and forth after the prince, seeking to calm him
down by biting his ankles (a well known method of
calming the distressed).
questioning, however, it became clear that the crimes
were not the work of the beloved prince but rather a commoner
cleverly disguised as him. How the switch was implemented
will probably never be known but the palace rests easy
tonight knowing that the rightful heir is once again back
in his place. Hopefully the horrific episode of the Prince
and the Pooper will not be repeated!
Prince Meets the Possum
Royal Highness Prince Slate was only intending to attend
to the royal business in the yard before retiring for
the night. He had purely peaceful and kind feelings in
his heart as he headed out the door. The Evil Prime Minister
Shan was a few steps behind him when he heard a horrific
shriek and saw the young prince disappear rapidly and
somewhat loudly down the steps. Some seconds of crashing
followed as it appeared the prince lost control of his
momentum and went headlong downwards.
could be happening?? The personal attendant to the court
peered out into the darkness and saw the prime minister
hastening slightly more decorously down the stairs. The
crashing and shrieking continued then stopped abruptly.
The personal attendant armed herself with the
Lady Tassel and a flashlight and hurried to the site of
the ruckus. Against the fence and under a bush, she saw
the two nobles standing over a dark lump. They appeared
puzzled. The lump resolved itself under the glow of the
flashlight to be an evil looking creature with a nasty,
fat, naked tail and a long, pointy nose with a mouthful
of sharp teeth. It looked very dead.
two gentlemen were inclined to feel very proud of themselves
and strutted about briefly til they were told to get inside
to bed. Carefully watched over by the stalwart Lady Tassel,
the personal attendant investigated. No signs of life
were apparent. "Alas! Poor Possum. I knew him, Tassel;
a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy,"
she said as they made their way sadly back to the house.
turned back at the top of the steps to gaze silently at
the crumpled body, and what to their surprise did they
see but Mr. Possum climbing unsteadily to his feet! "To
be or not to be, that is the question," he mumbled
as he tottered out of the yard.
apologies to the Bard.
Prince in the Doldrums
is nearly over here at the castle. Not only is the evil
and aged prime minister again under the weather, but he
is taking it out on the royal lad by repeatedly biting
his nose and forcing him into submission. The Catlandish
Ambassadors watch the barbarically quaint customs of the
castle in appalled silence, grateful, as always, that
they belong to a superior species.
noble prince, having once again been taken to consult
with the goatishly bearded philosophers, had been hoping
he had gained enough wisdom to be respected by Shan the
evil prime minister. Such hopes were dashed, however,
by that worthy's stubborn opinion that philosophers are
a sign of weakness in a society and should be eradicated
or at least ignored. Not even the humble tokens of the
prince's esteem and good will could soothe the offended
prime minister. As the prince laid the ends of two sheep
tails at the feet of the black and white dignitary and
thumped his tail encouragingly, the evil one was heard
to cruelly sneer about diluted royal blood and the inability
to bite correctly. He continued his taunt by pointing
out that, firstly, a true aristocrat would not have needed
to bite and, secondly, that if a bite was needed, a proper
prince would have bitten the heel and not the tail.
and despondent, the prince turned away with a tear in
his eye. Was there nothing he could do that would earn
respect from his regent? He tried to ease his anguish
in the royal pool. Soaking quietly, he pushed around the
water plants and redecorated the garden. Occasionally
the prime minister would wander past. "Sheep tails!
Piffle!" he sneered. Prince Slate blew bubbles in
the pond and pretended not to hear. Even the Lovely Lady
Tassel refused to amuse the prince. "Biting off their
tails! How could you?" the dainty creature sighed.
"And why didn't I think of that?" she muttered
under her breath when the prince was out of earshot. She
consoled herself by stealing the royal knucklebone and
secreting it in her jewelry box.
for the prince. No sheep tails, no knucklebone, scolded
by his personal attendant over his careful garden redecoration
- they call them the dog days of summer because the prince
is in the doghouse!
Prince and His Pink
Royal Highness Prince Slate was tooling about town in
his personal carriage one day when something caught his
attention. "Stop the carriage instantly!" he
commanded. His personal attendant slammed on the brakes
and pulled the carriage up in front of the spectacular
storefront. The autocratic young prince leaped joyfully
from the carriage and preceded his attendant into the
establishment. The proprietors bowed and scraped before
him and offered him a tray of hors d'oeuvres to sample
as he perused the contents of their store. It was the
most incredible place he had ever seen! He pulled out
his blue credit card (with a princely line of credit)
and proceeded to max it out.
a selfless and very noble young fellow, he did not forget
the faithful members of his court. For the Lovely Lady
Tassel, there was a new grunting hedgehog; for the Evil
Prime Minister Shan, a squeaky sheepman. The prince, for
himself, purchased a lovely, pink, rubber porcupine.
His personal attendant quietly suggested that the blue
one was, perhaps, more manly, but the young prince would
hear nothing of it. It must be the pink one! No porcupine
was more squeakily delectable than the pink one. "I
will call it Pink!" declared the prince as he squeaked
returning home to the castle, the prince distributed his
purchases to the gathered throngs. He was somewhat chagrined
to notice that he had neglected to purchase anything for
the Catlandish ambassadors. They stalked away with their
tails stiffly upright pretending not to care.
off this oversight, the royal lad reached deep into his
bag for the last toy, his precious Pink. The soft rubbery
sides gleamed in the light and the cute up-turned nose
and big eyes smiled at him. Little porcupine quills poked
out of the sides of this most incredible find, and the
color reflected onto the walls lighting up the room with
a rich, rosy glow.
Slate could not contain himself! He put Pink on the floor
and danced around it in joy. "I have Pink! I love
Pink!" he sang loudly and very off-key. He danced
a foxtrot. Pink smiled obligingly.
The prince thought Pink needed a new view. He carefully
placed it on a chair. Pink smiled. Prince Slate danced
the Charleston. "I have Pink! I love Pink!!"
he sang even louder. Pink on the footstool, the prince
danced the macarena. Pink by the foodbowl, he did the
twist. Pink sat on the porch and his highness boogied
and shouted as he did a rain dance around it.
the prince found the place his Pink liked best. He carefully
climbed to the back of the sofa and stretched himself
out as far as he could reach. Holding Pink carefully in
his mouth, he leaned over and gently placed it on top
of the bookcase. The wide smile of the rubber toy filled
the room as it sat proudly and looked down upon the royal
court. Prince Slate climbed down from his perch and gazed
adoringly up at his beloved toy. Nothing but the jitterbug
was adequate to express his depth of emotion. "Pink!
Pink! Pink!!!" The rafters echoed with his shrieks
Prince's New Clothes
Royal Highness Prince Slate woke up one morning with a
gasp of horror! He was falling to pieces! The Royal Blue
Jumpsuit was disintegrating in front of his very eyes!!
He ran to The Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel in dismay.
"Tassel! Oh, Tassel!" he cried. "My lovely
blue jumpsuit is falling apart! Look!!" He pointed
back to shreds of fabric that lay along his trail. "Look!"
he shrieked again as he pulled a large chunk of material
from the seat of his jumpsuit and waved it in the air.
grow up," said the Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel.
"You are such a stinkin' baby. Haven't you ever blown
your coat before? I know you must have because you were
certainly very bald when we picked you up from herding
boot camp last fall."
Prince shrieked aloud. "Tassel!! You are getting
MY red jumpsuit! That is not fair! You know I have longed
for a red jumpsuit for all of my two and a half years!"
prince leaped upon the Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel
and pulled a large clump of red material from her jumpsuit.
"Why do you get a red jumpsuit and I only have blue??"
a ninny," sighed the Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel.
"Look, that is my undercoat you are holding and,
let me say, it is not exactly socially acceptable to be
seen in public pulling on a lady's undercoat in that manner.
I have, though apparently you never had the good taste
to notice before, a lovely red undercoat. You have a plain,
boring, blue undercoat. Too bad for you." She smirked
gently. Prince Slate hurriedly dropped the scrap of red
material onto the ground and looked abashed.
then the Personal Attendant tottered into the house and
collapsed into a chair. The court ran over to welcome
her and frolicked in expectation of dinner. The Personal
Attendant opened her eyes and screamed in horror! "Where
is the Prince?! What have you done with him!?" She
grabbed Prince Slate and shook him. "Where is Prince
Slate and who are you?!" she growled.
Prince drew himself up in affronted dignity. "Control
yourself, madam. I am Prince Slate." Clumps of blue
jumpsuit scattered to the winds as he spoke completely
destroying the dramatic effect. "Oh, princely!"
she sobbed in dismay. "You are completely bald! You
look like you have lost five pounds! Here, eat some food!!"
She filled up his supper bowl and Prince Slate sneered
regally at the Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel who stood
in a pool of red and blue hair and sucked in her sides
to look pathetic and thin. She was unsuccessful.
Personal Attendant told her she needed to lose weight
and poured out the tiniest allotment of food that the
Lady Tassel had ever seen. "This isn't fair!"
she shrieked. The Prince smirked gently as he gobbled
Prince Hears a Cautionary Tale
Royal Highness Prince Slate has noticed a cyclical pattern
in his personal attendant's attention span. At certain
times of the year, the royal lad sees a decrease in her
ability to attend to his needs and a corresponding increase
in the mess lying about the castle. Toys, princely hairs,
and papers mingle unheeded all over the floor. These times
of mess also correspond to a change in the usual kind
temperament of his attendant. She becomes cross and impatient
with the antics of the court. She mutters to herself and
spends hours at her desk staring at books til late into
the night. In the morning, she rushes out the door with
barely a glance at the castle inhabitants and, upon her
return, she goes straight back to her desk and resumes
prince has learned to use these times to catch up on his
sleep and experiment with new games with the Lovely Lady
Tassel. He also gets some enjoyment out of teasing the
Evil Prime Minister Shan and the Catlandish Ambassadors.
One day, after a particularly ingenious pounce at a Catlandish
Ambassador, his personal attendant took him aside and
proceeded to tell him a story:
Tale of Prince Kitty-Doggy
upon a time, there was a prince who insisted on pestering
his personal attendant while she was trying to write a
stupid bird paper. Prince Doggy, as he was known, was
a lovely young fellow who delighted in frolics. He was
not very considerate, however. Here, the personal attendant
heaved a great sigh that foretold of woes about to fall
upon the hapless Prince Doggy. Prince Slate settled cozily
upon his pillow and fixed his attention upon his attendant.
He knew he was extremely considerate so he felt smugly
superior to this fictional prince.
Doggy, continued the attendant, was well know throughout
his kingdom for his long whiskers,
his broad forehead and his pertly erect ears. He wore
a luxurious blue jumpsuit everywhere he went. (Prince
Slate, with an innocent air, plucked some cathair off
his own blue jumpsuit.) Prince Doggy was a very doggy
young prince and he delighted in chasing after the distinguished
ambassadors from Catlandia. He was so relentless in chasing
them and pulling their tails that the leader of the Catlandians
from the great city of Meowin' knew something drastic
must be done about this grave insult to her country. This
Catlandish leader send a horrible curse that fell upon
the hapless Prince Doggy: "Henceforth, you will become
that which you most despise and all your persecutions
will be visited back upon you one hundredfold."
personal attendant fixed Prince Slate with a steely glare.
From that time forth, she continued, Prince Doggy had
uncontrollable urges to perch on the backs of chairs.
She looked at Prince Slate who lolled at his ease on the
back of the sofa. Prince Doggy also felt compelled to
jump into the window seats and sit in the sunshine. (Prince
Slate received another sharp look from his attendant.
He wondered why she kept looking at him so strangely.)
Prince Doggy's whiskers grew longer, his tail would twitch
when he saw a bird. He enjoyed rubbing affectionately
against his attendant, strings dangling in front of him
were now irresistably attractive. He was even, Oh Horror!,
known to purr on occasion!
subjects would snicker and sneer when the young prince
appeared in public. They would whisper "Here, kitty,
kitty!" behind his back and toss catnip at him. The
prince was unable to control himself and would roll in
the catnip as the commoners hooted and howled in laughter.
"Prince Kitty-Doggy," they called him. Prince
Slate shifted a little uncomfortably. Obviously his attendant
expected him to be learning something from this tale but
he could not understand her meaning.
the poor young prince was indistinguishable from a cat.
His subjects refused now to bow before him and he was
taunted unmercifully. They tied cans to his tail and chased
him through the streets. At last, in desperation he snuck
across the border into Catlandia. Alas for the dreams
of royalty, the poor Prince Kitty-Doggy spent the rest
of his days catching mice in the gutters of Meowin' and
begging to support his catnip habit - all because he had
refused to listen to his personal attendant and insisted
upon pulling the tails of the distinguished Catlandish
Ambassadors. The End.
Slate's personal attendant wiped away a tear. The Lovely
Lady Tassel sobbed quietly into her embroidery. The Evil
Prime Minister Shan mentioned how he was quite sure the
foolish Prince Kitty-Doggy was not a border collie but
obviously had been an inferior sort of cattle dog. Prince
Slate squirmed a bit uncomfortably as they all looked
at him. He had no idea what they were rambling about.
He heard a bird singing outside and his tail twitched.
He smoothed his long whiskers and asked politely if he
might run and play now. His attendant nodded and the noble
prince leaped from the back of the sofa. A Catlandish
Ambassador, disturbed by the prince's sudden descent,
waved her tail in the air and had it abruptly seized and
yanked as the prince ran past. What a dumb story that
had been, thought Prince Slate, spitting out hair. It
was nowhere near up to his attendant's usual standards.
Prince Helps Paint
Royal Highness Prince Slate, having religiously kept his
resolution to be useful around the house, was very perplexed
today when the Personal Attendant barricaded him and the
Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel into the upper chambers
of the castle. "How odd," he ventured to opine
to the Lady Tassel. She glanced suspiciously at him and,
being firmly of the opinion that discretion is the better
part of valor, decided to take a nap in her boudoir under
the bed. HRH Slate was not familiar with that quaint saying
and decided to investigate the barricade.
could see the lowly Personal Attendant toiling away at
the bottom of the stairs. She was rubbing something on
the wall. She worked for a while and then picked up the
phone, just out of sight, and began chatting. Prince Slate
made a small noise as he banged his foot against the barricade.
"Helloooo! If you are not working in sight of me,
don't you think I should come down and help you more closely?"
he sang. The Personal Attendant made no reply but kept
chatting away - annoyingly close but out of sight. Prince
Slate nosed aside the barricade. After all, the Personal
Attendant had no right to restrict the Royal Prince's
access to any part of his own castle.
trotted happily down the stairs at a slightly faster than
usual pace just in case the Personal Attendant might try
to thwart him. Indeed, he might be said to have galloped
down the stairs at top speed. He heard a piercing scream
that was so loud he had trouble identifying it as anything
so he ignored it. It was repeated just as the Personal
Attendant hove into view lunging across the room at him.
The Prince was pleased to see that she had missed him
so much and was glad he had made the decision to join
it dawned on him that the very loud, piercing noise was
coming from her and she was leaping madly through the
air towards him in a very perturbing manner. At about
the same time, it dawned on him that one of his feet was
slightly damp. The Noble Youth, never one to tempt the
fates, decided that his crate was a very worthy goal and
flung himself across the room and into it at the speed
of light. The Personal Attendant landed with a thump at
his last noted position at the base of the stairs and
again repeated the atrocious noise that had been issuing
from her mouth. To the Sweet Prince's jangled nerves,
it now sounded suspiciously like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!"
was a brief episode of tearing of hair on the part of
the Personal Attendant but she quickly pulled herself
together and slammed the crate door on the now Meek and
Docile Prince who barely spared a thought to wonder at
the dampness of his foot - although that bare thought
was enough to cause him to wipe it all across the floor
of his crate. He watched in wonderment as the Personal
Attendant ran around with a damp sponge and wiped away
at the carpet and he blushed furiously at the language
she used. He was glad the Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel
was safely out of hearing.
as he had given up any hope of interpreting the Personal
Attendant's very strange behavior, she ran at him again.
He tried to appease her by flopping around his discolored
crate but she dove in and wiped his foot with the sponge
in a furious manner. She then said in a cheery voice,
"Outside!" and flung the Royal Prince out into
the rain! The rain pelted down on him incessantly as he
drooped around the yard wondering why the Personal Attendant
thought he should go admire the gardens in a downpour.
Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel, snug and secure in her
boudoir, snorted and laughed at the sounds of the Prince's
folly. She considered going down and adding a few choice
words to the Personal Attendant's limited vocabulary but
remembered her motto and stayed put. Discretion really
is the better part of valor.
Prince Gets Some Advice
Royal Highness Prince Slate was pleased to escort the
Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel to a class reunion back
at the old barracks of Fort BFM recently. There he relived
all his happy memories secure in the knowledge that he
would not be compelled to scrub his bunk with his toothbrush
again. His dear friend Sutter was so happy to see him
that he voluntarily started stripping off his red jumpsuit
for the Noble Prince to borrow.
the Prince chatted with his old comrades, he was saddened
to see one with whom he had but a passing acquaintance
was behind bars. "Why is Young Kit imprisoned?"
he asked a passing kelpie. "Too busy, can't stop,
must get to work" muttered the kelpie. "Drat,"
said Prince Slate. "Why do I bother with those creatures.
Hello there, fellow!" He hailed an older blue dog.
"Why is that young lady imprisoned?"
wondered the dog but he was an unassuming and tolerant
creature so he merely sniffed once and replied. "My
granddaughter has been fined for excessive barking. Well,
I can't blame her for that. It is a habit I get into myself
at times. There is just so much going on and we all like
to get in a few words of advice to the new recuits. Some
of them, well, they could use the help... say, didn't
I see you around here last year? Tendency to bite the
hocks? Kicked in the head a few times? Yeah, I remember
you. Maybe you should have listened better to what we
were saying. I know my boy Sutter tried to tell you -
Bite the heels! I remember him coaching you but you just
have to go in there and bite those hocks. Get you killed
one day, it will."
Slate wasn't sure he needed to take any advice from the
blue dog but his court manners saw him through. "Ah,
yes," he said airily. "You do tend to rattle
on, don't you? Well, thank you for the information. Your
granddaughter, hmm? I don't see any resemblance. Good
day." As he continued on his way, the Personal Attendant
rushed up to him. "Do you know who that was!"
she exclaimed. "What did he say to you? Memorize
everything!" Much to his chagrin, the snobbish prince
realized he had been speaking to none other than the renowned
General Syd himself. Too late, he wished his court manners
were a little more polite.
can I do to make it up to him?" he wondered, determined
to impress the great general. "I know, I shall rescue
his granddaughter!" He quickly outlined his plan
to the Lovely Lady Tassel and his Personal Attendant.
"Let's bust her out and take her back to the castle!"
barking... I don't know," said the Personal Attendant
cautiously. "That is a serious charge."
the Prince dismissed her hesitations. "See to her
bail at once!" He dashed off to attend to some recalcitrant
cows and promptly bit one in the hock. The resulting kick
missed him by a millimeter. When she had recovered from
cringing in horror at the near miss, the Personal Attendant
brought Young Kit out from her prison cell.
afternoon," squeaked Kit in joy. "Did you see
that? The cow almost kicked him. He bites too high. Let
me diagram it for you." She rapidly sketched a picture
in the dirt. "If you are this pebble, the human stands
here and the cows are this clump of dirt. You move in
a counterclockwise manner and you should come up nicely
at their heads. When you reach the heads of the cows,
me," interrupted the Personal Attendant. Kit paused
for a moment and the Castle Crew looked her over. "She
is very small," the Prince said doubtfully. "Ahem,"
said the Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel. "She appears
quite a good size to me." The Personal Attendant
and Prince Slate exchanged a glance. "Well, let's
see what you can do then," said the Personal Attendant.
"If you bite the cow, perhaps we will pay your fine."
joy!" said Kit. "A cow! Now let's take the cow
leg. We'll call it the lever arm. Force is multiplied
along the lever arm..." "Do we have to listen
to this?" asked The Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel.
Prince's Pink Loses Face
Royal Highness Prince Slate awoke from his afternoon nap
with a start. What was that sound? He listened intently.
It couldn't be. ... It was!! It was the sound of his precious
Pink in distress! Jumping off the royal couch, he galloped
in the direction of the faint squeaks that emanated from
his beloved rubber toy. What new enemy threatened his
kingdom's most delectable squeakie?
a corner at high speed, he almost didn't see the small
dog that lay on the ground. "Kit!" cried the
prince, screeching to a halt. "Where are the intruders
that threaten my Pink? Have you seen them?"
puzzled Kit. "Well, there were 16 grasshoppers that
went past in the last hour, 17 house finches, 2 wrens
and 47 grackles. I also saw 7 wasps and 15 houseflies.
The two labradors are out next door but they are confined
by some odd electrical system that somehow interacts with
their collars. I haven't quite worked out the mechanics
of that. It would be easier if they would allow me to
take the collars apart to see the workings. I am pretty
sure I could rebuild them afterwards. The mourning doves
have remained more or less stationary around that contraption
they call a nest. My calculations show that it will collapse
on or around Day 15 counting from the time the first egg
shrieked the Prince. "What is that between your feet??!?"
Kit looked down perpelexed by the change of subject. "IT
IS MY PINK!!!!" cried the Noble Prince in horror.
"Where is the happy smiling face with the long painted
eyelashes and the turned up nose???! You have eaten my
Pink's face off!!! How dare you touch my royal Pink! My
own beloved Pink! And you, you're nothing but a convicted
felon that I took pity on!" The Prince howled in
outrage as he danced about his Pink's shattered body.
reminds me," said Kit gently. "I have been reading
this fascinating book, comrade. This book says that property
should be shared among all. That rank is a charade. That
all dogs should work together for the common good. Why
should I toil while you relax in luxury? Shouldn't
you also work instead of just enjoying the spoils of your
oppressed serfs? Why is this Your Pink and not My Pink?
Is not the Pink partly mine and partly Comrade Tassel's
as well? Don't we share in the good things available.
What do you say, comrade?"
Commie Pink-o Envy
Pink!" moaned the Prince.
yourself together!" snarled the Lovely and Delicate
Lady Tassel who had joined the scene. "You are crying
over your split Pink while a revolutionary spouts treason
at you! Convict Kit, you must address us in respectful
terms. That is Prince Slate and I am the Lovely and Delicate
Lady Tassel. When there are no servants present, I will
permit you to address me as merely The Lovely Lady Tassel
but in public you really should be more formal. Comrade
will never do as a form of address for a Prince or a Lady!"
we not all dogs? Though I was raised in a military establishment
and not a castle, am I not your equal, comrade? Let us
all work together for a brave new world!" said Kit,
her at once!" shrieked the Lovely and Delicate Lady
Tassel. "Off with her head!"
Pink," wept the Prince.
there goes another grasshopper, that is number 17!"
said Comrade Kit.
Prince Avoids a Predicament
Royal Highness Prince Slate was contentedly chewing on
a stick when the Young and Nimble Comrade Kit ran up to
him in excitement. The noble prince continued chewing
on his stick while the enthusiastic rebel made several
dashes past at high speed before settling enough to address
him. This took some time.
you see that, comrade?" squeaked Kit, finally. "I
made 50 circles around you at an average speed of 25 miles
per hour. The total distance I ran was 7523.7 feet. I
bounced 6 times per loop and each bounce covered 8 feet
you want something?" interrupted the sweet prince
I found some more books inside," Kit wallowed on
her back in the grass as she spoke. "I hope it isn't
a problem, I made some notes in the margins. Some sections
I had to cross out and rewrite completely, they were shockingly
out of date."
Slate turned back to his stick. "You will have to
talk to The Lovely and Delicate Lady Tassel about that,"
he said, glad that he didn't have to discuss politics
again. "I only have one small paperback. The rest
Tassel!" yipped Kit happily. "I will find her.
Do you know that she has lost 1.3 kilograms since my arrival?
That is 2.9 pounds if you still use that system. It is
also out of date. This whole castle needs updating!"
is a brand new castle," mumbled the prince around
his stick. "We haven't even named it yet."
looked at him quizzically. "Comrade Tassel said it
was named. She said it was called Tassel Castle. She showed
me the borders very clearly. She said one acre was hers
and 0.35 acre was yours and the remaining 0.15 acre, which
includes to the middle of the road out front, might be
mine if I was good. We measured it. I think we should
all share it. It could be called Kit's Commune."
Castle? It does have a nice ring to it but I was thinking
more along the lines of Pink Castle," pondered the
prince. "It doesn't matter about the borders, everything
that is Tassel's is mine and everything that is yours
is mine. That is what it means to be a prince. My paperback
covers that very clearly."
considered informing the prince that the set of books
she had been busily updating tended to disagree with him
on that subject but, at that moment, she saw the Lovely
and Delicate Lady Tassel resting under a tree. "Comrade
Tassel!" she cried in joy and began looping towards
her. This took some time. In fact, it took enough time
that the Noble and Courageous Prince Slate was able to
find cover before the explosion.
dared edit MY roolbooks!!" shrieked the Lovely and
Delicate Lady Tassel.